Monday, March 19, 2012

IGN Gives Ninja Gaiden 3 a Fucking 3/10!!!

http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/122/1221032p1.html

IGN scores Ninja Gaiden 3 a 3/10. What a fucking disaster. Hayashi and co. have RUINED the greatest series of action games on the planet.

Ugh.

I'll be ranting about the game in detail at a later date.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Witcher 2 Enhanced Edition Trailer is GREAT

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Ninja Gaiden 3 News: Scythe and Falcon's Talons (Claws) Are Free DLC

http://andriasang.com/con0a4/ninja_gaiden_3_dlc/

Famitsu is reporting that Tecmo Koei will be releasing the Eclipse Scythe and the Falcon's Talons as free DLC. No word of when or how they will be utilized in the game, but my money is on Day 1, and multiplayer/Ninja Trials only.

Oh, and you bet your ass that this is their way of appeasing us because they plan on charging us for the rest of them and they know we are expecting it and will NOT be happy about it.

If Online Dating Profiles Were Honest

If online dating profiles were totally accurate and 100% honest, this is what they would sound like:

Male:

Hi, my name is John. I'm a 30 year old divorced male. I'm skinny-fat and haven't had a tan since my Honeymoon. Have barely had sex since then as well, and I am afraid that I have forgotten how it works, but I digress. I have lost 15% of my hair in the last year and this terrifies me. On top of that, as this hair disappears, other hairs show up in really strange places. I sometimes go three or four days without showering. I am strangely fascinated by the smell of my own farts. I am self deprecating, but only as a preemptive defense mechanism.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Sex Before Marriage Rant

I wanted to rant about premarital sex and religion, and I decided to do it in the form of a response to a fictional character who would represent the real fears of many real people. Hence, witness my rant in the form of a response to Sam, a ficticious 18 year old who is concerned about the fact that he and his girlfriend of four years just had sexual intercource for the first time, despite the fact that they were planning on waiting for marriage. Sam feels dirty and ashamed of his 'sin,' as he calls it, and he is terrified of the possible consequences awaiting him in the afterlife.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Facebook Page!

http://www.facebook.com/TheThoughtfulGamers

Friday, March 2, 2012

Gaming Conventions That Need to Go! Pt. 4

1) Invisible barriers. They just don't make any sense. Either design a real barrier, or get/design a better engine that isn't so restrictive.

2) Key cards. These should have went out 20 years ago.

3) Cliffhanger endings. These are evil. Especially in the cases where a sequel never even materializes. I think you should always tie up your story as best you could. Treat each game like a microchosm of the overall story.

4) Kidnapped girlfriends. Some of the best games ever made have this as a plot outline, but still, let it go already. Why not start kidnapping some grandfathers already?

5) Instruction Manuals in 2009......redundant much? Waste of resources? Almost every game now explains the story and controls/how to play in game.

6) Mashing a button to open a door. THIS IS NOT FUN. THIS IS NOT IMMERSIVE. It's stupid, boring, repetitive and ruins the pacing of the game. I blame God of War for this crap (that damn game popularized QTE's in general, damn (still awesome) game).

7) Scantily clad women. I'm sorry, but um....why are people turned on by digital characters that don't even look remotely realistic enough to pass for real people?

The End?

Well, readers, I am sad to say that this may very well be the last Gaming Conventions that must Die! Blog. So, barring any unforeseen flashes of genius, I believe this may very well be it. Don't cry. I'll try not to.

Thanks (yet again) for reading.