Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Substance responsible for Alistair Overeem's failed drug test revealed!

Alistair Overeem has tested positive for Rousimar Palhares. He injected 100ml 2x per day of the banned substance, and when he tested with overly high testosterone levels, his Rousimar Palhares levels were 40 times higher than normal. Rousimar Palhares is a new drug on the performance enhancement scene that has been shown to raise the testosterone levels of anyone who is even in the same room as it, let alone someone who injects it. It's an incredibly potent drug and the side effects are staggering, the worst of which being an insatiable desire to rip the legs off of anyone and well, everyone. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Internal hard drive defragmentation checklist

Internal hard drive defragmentation checklist:

1) 8 obligation free hours
2) notepad
3) pen
4) quiet room and/or a hilltop under the night sky
5) 5g (go deep or go home) of psilocybin mushrooms


6) introspective, open minded friends with whom you can share the experience and know that they will respect it rather than try to morph it to fit their preconceived notions of what the experience should be like
7) an escape hatch just in case the light at the top of the rabbit hole becomes so dim and seemingly so far away that it detracts from the experience
8) skis. The outer reaches of the multiverse are snow covered this time of year

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Mitt Romney on Strapping Wife Ann Onto Top of Private Jet: “She Loved It!”

Mitt Romney on Strapping Wife Ann Onto Top of Private Jet: “She Loved It!”

The story just gets more and more preposterous. For those not in the know, Mitt and Ann Romney have come under fire for their actions on a family vacation back in 1983. Then Vice President of consulting firm Bain & Company, Romney and his wife Ann set out on a 12 hour road trip to their summer cottage in Canada. Determined to bring along their Irish Setter, Seamus, but short on space in the car, they decided to place their beloved and loyal family pet into a carrier strapped to the roof of the car and boot down the highway at 60 miles an hour for 12 hours. When their terriffied dog shit himself, they simply hosed him down and then continued on, making the rest of the cold, scary trek that much colder (and presumably scarier).

This story has of course caused all sorts of trouble for Romney's fledgling presidential campaign. Unfortunately for him, it's not growing even worse, as it has come to light that he once strapped his wife Ann onto the top of his private jet en route to Alaska because his leg room would have been compromised had she been on board. In his defense, he states that she quote “loved it” as it allowed her to “experience the beauty of American landscape in a visceral way not available to most people.” Ann Romney has thus far not been available for her take on this matter. Presumably, she is unable to get cell reception from the trunk of the family car.

We'll have more on this story in the coming days.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Project X Zone: The New 3DS Game From Capcom/Sega/Namco Bandai

A little while ago it was revealed that Capcom, Sega, and Namco Bandai were all working on a crossover game for the 3DS. A lot of people assumed that it would either be a fighting game similar to the recent output of crossover-themed fighters, or an SRPG similar to the Playstation 2 game Namco X Capcom. 

Turns out it was an SRPG.

Ninja Gaiden 3: Punishing Me for Playing It

A few minutes ago I went over to my Xbox 360 and booted up Ninja Gaiden 3 with the intention of playing the game for a little while. Well, apparently the game had other plans in mind, because rather than be immersed in mediocre action upon starting up the game, I was met with this lovely sight:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

At this point, I wave the proverbial white flag. I give up. Fuck this game; back to Devil May Cry HD Collection I go.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

So, I Gave in and Rented Ninja Gaiden 3....

I gave in and rented the damn thing (no way am I buying it and supporting TN's 'vision') and so far (beginning of Day 3 on Hard) I have to say that it's.....overall a great game with several significant flaws, one of which being it's a TERRIBLE Ninja Gaiden game. I'll review the game once I am done with it, but for now, here's a bullet point list of a few (negative) things about the game that many/most reviewers seemed to have missed (as usual):

-Recovery frames are far too numerous and sustained
-The usefulness of shuriken cancelling has been decreased (reduction in frames during which it is possible)
-Invincibility frames (i-frames) have been reduced in number
-Enemy tracking is not broken, but problematic
-Wind pathing controls are a bit screwed up
-No guillotine throw :(
-Shuriken cancelling while airborne (or even throwing normal air shurikens) results in OL recovery frames
-Enemy grabs have pretty obvious telegraphs (audio/visual) but this is largely negated by above issues
-ShurikenSlideStrong Attack on a bloody enemy to initiate a SOB moment often glitches and fails
-TN set out to negate UT spam, but in doing do merely replaced it with SOB spam
-Enemy encounters are ridiculously lengthy gauntlets (at least on Hard) resulting in extreme repetition
-Control of Ryu is taken from the player FAR too often, ruining the pacing
-Far too much grab spam in addition to the recovery frame issue=less combat options (at least on Hard)
-Many moments of slowdown on Hard and above (due to the high enemy and projectile count)
-Most of the music heard thus far has been much less memorable than that of the previous games
-Invisible walls
-Wall running and bird flipping opportunities are few and far between
-Too much bow combat. It's just not very engaging

On the positive side of things:

-Some nice new DS combos
-OT's look cool and are prioritized (OT opportunities are always recognized by the engine and prioritized)
-The lack of items, while overall a gigantic step backwards, does add to the tension/difficulty during fights
-SOB chaining, while overall a detriment, is actually kind of fun, surprisingly
-Graphics are (mostly) great
-Regent of the Mask is a good boss. Bit too easy but well designed and fun
-Bow control is much more user friendly than before (not all changes aiming for ease of use are bad)
-Quickest loading of the modern console NG games (restarting after death is pretty fast, which is nice)
-There's still challenge and fun to be had here. A non 'hardcore' Ninja Gaiden fan might LOVE this game

If I don't give up on this game (I have been tempted to a few times) I will review it in full upon completion.

You Have Proof of Your God's Existence? Okay, Let's Hear It.

Believe in a god? Have proof of said god's existence? I'd like to hear it.

Anyone who happens to be reading this and think they have proof of the existence of their god of choice, let me have it. 

However, if I may, before you reveal it, I'd like to set 3 rules.

1) Arguments from incredulity are fallacious and I will not accept them.  For example, saying "Look at the world around you. sIt's too "perfect." It had to be created, therefore, there's obviously a God." This is a logical fallacy. Just because you cannot fathom any other explanation does not mean there isn't one. All you are really saying is "I don't know and I am inserting "god." There are MANY other possible explanations. Some more plausible than others. So please refrain from using this as "proof." I will not accept it.

2) These also are not valid and will not be accepted as "proof:"

-You can't prove there's not a god!

-Without god, people have no reason to be moral.

The first one is just stupid burden shifting (and still not proof anyways) and the scond one is just a bare assertion fallacy (and wrong) (and still not proof).

3) For people who believe in the "one true god....." whatever proof you do have, ask yourself, could that same proof not be utilized by someone else who believes in a different god? If so, how can it be valid for you and not them? Which means......by your logic, their god must exist as well. For example, if you say "God speaks to me" and this is your proof, fine. However, if someone who believes in one of the 3799 other propsed gods says that as well, would that not be proof that their god also exists?

Okay, so if you think you have proof of god's existence and it does not consist of one of the above disqualified lines of reasoning, please do share it! Keep in mind, however, that this is for people who say they actually have proof, not for those who say it's based on faith.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Gay Marriage is No Different Than Heterosexual Marriage (PIC)

Here is all of the evidence you need that gay marriage is no different than straight marriage: A pact between two people who have given up:

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Rousimar Palhares: A Tribute