Saturday, March 10, 2012
Note: This was inspired by a forum posting from someone who is going through this exact situation. This is based on the response I gave to that person, and the feelings I really, truly felt both while reading his story, and after.
Sex is NORMAL. Arousal is NORMAL. You are acting on NORMAL biological impulses driven by your hormones, which are raging at your age. These impulses, rather than being a source of shame, should be something you celebrate! Not only do they lead to a mutually pleasurable experience, they are also the reason we are all here. We would not even be here if it wasn't for the biological urge to procreate. The propagation of the entire species is dependent upon the urge to, well, fuck.
Your religion has convinced you that you have somehow "sinned" for doing something NORMAL and acting on your nature. They have LIED to you.
Think outside of your religion.
Objectively. If but for a moment.
How could sex "outside of marriage" be wrong?
What is marriage?
Think about it. You can't have sex on Friday. It's a 'sin' and worthy of eternal hellfire, not to mention earthly shame and disgust, regret, etc.
Then, on Saturday, you say a few words in front of a group of people, another human being says "I pronounce you blah blah blah" and then *poof* you're "married" and can have sex all you want?
This makes sense to you?
The only way i can see this making any sense is if you accept the religious dogma that tells you marriage is a contract between the two of you as well as with god. Then the marriage does change things, as opposed to just being a ceremony that merely confirms already existing commitments.
Or does it?
Why would an omniscient god need the ceremony? He's omniscient. He knows when the two people involved are fully commited. There's really no need for them to stand up there and say it, because he already knows.
Also, if there is a god, you honestly think he would create all of these ridiculous rules? The all powerful creator of an entire universe and all of the species of life within it cares so much about the sex lives of human beings on one of his planets that he wants you to wait, and engage in little ceremonies before having sex?
And then , on top of it, he gives you hormones that make you desire sex right from puberty, not after you are married, which is when he supposedly wants you to only have the sex. Why would he do that? He could have made it so that the biological urge to have sex only manifests after marriage. He's omnipotent, after all, is he not?
I know you believe in god and your religion, but please, truly think of what I am saying. It makes me sad and angry that you are feeling scared and ashamed for doing something so completely normal and positive.
You're 18 years old, you have been with your girlfriend for 4 years. You're commited and in love. You are doing NOTHING wrong, and in fact, you're doing something with positive benefits for your health, her health, and your bond/relationship.
And rather than being able to enjoy this natrual part of life, your religion, aka bronze age mythology, has robbed you of this and inserted this bullshit about sin. You should NOT be feeling guilt, shame, and fear right now. You should be basking in the afterglow and then banging like rabbits for the next few months.
This is why some people say indoctrinating children into a religion is child abuse. It subjects them to undue harm, goddamn it.