Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ripoff Report: Volume 1

Ripoff Report: Volume 1

This is a new blog series in which I illuminate total and utter ripoffs in the world of downloadable content, aka DLC. The focus is on the bullshit that is DLC, on a game by game basis.

This week's game is:

Dante's Inferno

There's all sorts of shit available for sale for Dante's Inferno, and I do mean lots. And of course, being an EA game, most of it is bullshit. The worst offenders, though?

The augmented abilities.

What a fucking joke these are! They aren't just a poor value, they are literally downright insulting. For example, you know how in every hack n slash game since, well, almost ever, you have the ability to cancel out of a combo once you have started it? This is absolutely essential for a quick, fluid, agile combat system, and at this point, a staple of the genre. Every good hack n slash feautres this ability.

Well.....Dante's Inferno. If you start a combo, you're stuck with it until completion.....unless of course you fork over a couple of dollars for the Triple Relics Pack, which includes the Brain of Ruggieri ability. This allows one to cancel out of a combo at any time.....like you SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FROM THE OUTSET.

So what are the options here? What possible explanations could we receive if we were to ask EA what the fuck they were thinking and just what the fuck happened?

Did they hold this back on purpose? Did they have this built into the game, but remove it to sell later? I certainly hope not, and I am not necessarily saying that they did....but if they didn't, then was it an oversight? If it was an oversight....WHY ARE THEY CHARGING FOR IT? If it truly was an oversight, then imagine the conversation at EA headquarters:

Exec: Our feedback indicates that the players are unhappy about a particular aspect of the game. What is it?

Developer: Well, we unfortunately neglected to enable the ability to cancel one's combo after initiating it. This means that once the player stars an attack string, they are fully committed to it. The ability to cancel their attack is a standard in the genre, and I don't understand how we missed it, but we would like to remedy that and give our fans the sorely missed ability. I mean, it's really expected in games of this type these days.

Exec: Okay, do it, but charge for it.

Developer: ......

Exec: We can't be giving away value based, post game content for free. This is a business, after all, and we have considerations.

Developer: Of course, but sir, this isn't extra content, or content that we already developed but you guys asked us to hold back for “future earnings potential.” This is something that should have been there to begin with.

Exec: Oh, I see. Okay.

Developer: *breathes a sigh of relief * Oka-

Exec: *interrupting * In that case, throw it in one of the DLC packages so that it seems like a free bonus, rather than a paid item. *pats developer on the head * Good boy.

There's no way they should be charging for it, or pretending not to, but still effectively doing so, since the only way to access the ability is by purchasing something extraneous (in addition to the original game). This is analogous to an FPS developer not including the ability to crouch in an FPS, and then fucking charging for it later! Imagine the firestorm in the industry if that happened? It would be a raging inferno!

I don't see a way out of this one. They either cut it out to sell later, or forgot to include it and then charged their customers for their own fucking mistake. Either way, they pulled a dick move, and they got away with it! Why is no one calling them on this? Why weren’t all of the big so called journalists in this industry all over them for this? I Googled this, and it seems to me that I'm the only person who noticed this shit!

Sure, it's just games, in the end, but this is the games industry after all, so someone should be covering this! Someone should be asking these questions! But noooooo, all we get is CALL OF DUTTY MW3 ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER COUNTDOWN HAS STARTED!! CLICK HERE TO READ THE DETAILS GIVEN TO US BY THEIR PR PEOPLE!

Ugh. This industry fucking sickens me.


  1. I wish I could tell you the truth about this, but I`d lose my job....I`ll say this: you`re not too far off, and believe me, plenty of us are worried sick. We`re not all business minded. Many of us really are gamers doing it for the love of it, but in order to attain the backing we do, we need to....fulfill...a few....obligations. I wish I could say more, but I can`t. Just know that some of us that you might think are not on your side, are on your side.


Tell magx01 and the rest of The Thoughtful Gamers what's on your mind!